The jump start plan..

Here is the plan I have alluded to in the previous couple posts... thinking on my feet here...

Starting tomorrow, March 31, 2009, I will begin a 3 day cleansing diet of nothing but real food in small amounts. I will eat soup for every lunch and dinner and simply some source of protein for each breakfast. I will share this endeavor with nobody other than Melissa.

The goal of the 3 day plan is simple... 3 days is how long it usually takes to get from the outside of a box to the inside... or in this case, the inverse... to get outside of a bad situation. With this game in play, by next Wednesday when I am cooking for 4 - 6 people, I will have my full restraint ability in order.

During the 3 days, I'll need help to keep on track... I'll begrudgingly return to the "French Lady" as well as Les Stroud and anything else that I can get my hands on which will lead me towards the end result which I'm craving.

With the plan in action, by mid-April (say 3.15.09) I will have lost ~ 12 pounds and be much further "outside" the bubble and be able to further put distance between myself now and myself of the near future..

Then by 4.30.09 I will have lost ~ 25 pounds and will be firmly in control of my own direction at that point. Then by 5.19.09, the day I turn 34.. ugh.. I'll be near my goal of having lost ~ 40 pounds.

The summer will be spent running and maintaining the process until next July when I wind up in a completely new part of the world looking desperately to make things work.

So that's the plan.

Three days ... not seven.

One goal ... not 10 goals.

One outcome... winning.

More of what is coming..

... only one hour in the other direction!

What is coming..

I know that I will write a lot about my fears of the future... but his is what is coming as well. I think this is going to be great for me to have at an hour's drive..

April... a month of change..

You know, if I were to stay on course and play my cards right in April, I could have achieved -- for the most part -- my goals by May 1st. To loose 20 pounds in April is certainly possible. To start running again is even more possible. I think I just need to make a priority shift... it truly disturbs me how much I actually look forward to eating. I'm making cookies tonight for someone and I'm actually excited because I'll get to eat some of them... excited? Over cookies? Come on... I can make them anytime, why would there be such a strong emotional response to the art of making them and then eating them? It does not make any sense whatsoever.

Well, lesson # 1 is about to arrive...

Plan to follow in the break.

Wow... what a difference a week makes..

In the past 7 days, I've had a major financial battle to fix, introduced massive stress into my life and had to deal with bad weather, tough times all around and then the normal goodies du jour of each workday. I was violently yanked off my plan last week with the introduction of a collection call on Tuesday. From that, things spun out of control. In turn, instead of loosing weight, I have gained a couple pounds at least. It's embarrasing. Truly.

Only now, after a weekend of rehearsals and a little time to think, am I starting to meander back onto the right path. I'll admit that I'm so ashamed right now that I almost cancelled my work tonight... however, money is so horribly tight, that I had no choice but to come. I'm sure I'll make it through just fine and be better of tomorrow..

A plan is to follow tonight during my break.

8 hours

Sure, it's nothing big, going 8 hours without food. Most of us do that every night. However, it is different when you realize you're looking down the barrel of 48 hours. I can already identify the challenges of this journey (short as it may be). First and foremost, I have to make cookies tonight for Melissa. That usually ends in me eating a half dozen or so "trial" cookies. However, now it will be a good control mechanism! Otherwise, just making it through work, which can always be daunting when it comes to eating, that's my main challenge. I hope there's no free food there today..

Status as of 8 hours.. a little hungry, very thirsty after sleeping but my system seems unaware of what is coming down the road (the road I'm going off of promptly today)...

Starting over..

Can an adult actually start over? A person, 33 years old, set in their ways for many years, can that person, turn on a dime and change everything? It almost defies human nature, eh? Seriously, we are - by definition - habitual creatures. We follow roads previously paved and driven, 99% of the time, driven by ourselves in the recent past.. we rarely challenge ourselves to step off those roads and yet we travel them is such a mild or major state of funk or malaise that it seems silly that anyone would voluntarily go down that path? Again, honestly, if you're miserable on the road you're on, why build your there? It does not make sense to me, yet I am completely guilty of doing just that? A habitual "everything is fine" optimist, I'm admitting that I've developed a strong ability to cloak reality with nice and comfy rounded-edge pillows!

.. continued next morning ...

Well, we'll just see where I can take myself today!